People who are thinking that I am still into my past, into the ones in my life even a day before, ones who didn’t bother to stand by me when I really needed them, who didn’t find it important to see how truly I cared, ones who took me for granted and the ones I was still hoping for that someday there might be a change should now know that it is no more a reality.
It’s like I am growing up. I am understanding that I have a certain value and the care I show, the time I give to others, the love I shower is not useless. They actually should be praised and not taken for granted.
Just because I stayed doesn’t mean I will forever. I am someone who tries, tries and tries hard to change things, to give chances and to wait for someone who is important to me but till a limit; the last limit after which I consider the person to be lesser than a stranger. He or she then reduces to just another human being who can only approach asking for help or advice but nothing more.
Why should I devote my time to something that gives rise to nothing at all? It’s not like no one loves me. So many people do. Why should I romanticise pain so much? Well, I know I may do it again when I am passionate enough but only in a literary or artistic mood. I may use my pain only to create but not devastate my soul. Hard times show us who is true and who’s just ‘someone’ in your life. Just someone.
Rather than wasting my time crying over people who do not find human beings and their feelings important I would better wait for the ones who will understand and value emotions; for the ones who are mature enough to understand that money, career, lust won’t give you enough happiness all the way long through your lonely life.
I would wait for the ones who won’t consider my tears to be so valueless to fall down every day, ones who will hate the most to be a reason for the same, ones who will keep me in their priority list, ones who will respect my self respect and won’t let down my self esteem.
Ones who will understand. Like literally understand.
I will better wait. Even if such people do not exist I guess the wait is better rather than destroying my life over people who are least bothered. I am not incomplete and I can lead my life without a connection but if it forms I hope it’s true and out of treachery.
I will never let my true self-burn out for rising in life. I will stay like this. It’s good. I think it’s a treasure to be like what I am. I know my value. I know how important it is to be an honest human being, to know how to love, to have no conspiracies in the mind, to have a clean heart, to be close to the Divine and most importantly to be sensitive enough. Even if I am just a tiny human being in this eternally large universe I still count in making up the whole. The entire cosmos has me in it. It’s still incomplete without me. I play a part thus I have a value. Yes, I do.
I do not need to hide or be someone else to fit in here. I can feel emotions in a better way than many and that’s a plus, not a problem. I can be unapologetic myself without any dilemma. I cry and laugh with my heart out.
I do not need makeup. I do not need masks. I do not need to reconcile myself except when it’s only for the sake of art and not at all to be someone that you want me to be. My Dark circles, my birthmarks or my creases do not need a veil just like my sensitivity, my emotions and my empathy don’t need one.
Generally, I am an introverted extrovert and I like to share my daily life learnings with my surrounding so that they don’t waste time committing the same mistakes I already made. One for all is what I follow. I wonder how perfect the world would be if everyone could think this way!
It’s really a pleasure to have such people in life who taught me all the above-stated truth and it’s even more pleasurable to learn that I am stronger than my own limitations!
Lastly, hard times- Cheers to you. :’)
Photography by Sanjeev Basu
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